What Golf Feels Like When You're Bad
Playing bad golf is a horrific feeling, all while missing the point entirely.
When I started Golf Unfiltered many years ago — and ChicagoDuffer.com before that — I primarily needed an outlet to discuss my thoughts on this game I grew up with. Over time I expanded to include thoughts on the professional game, followed by an obsession with golf equipment, but I began to notice a separation from my original focus.
Similarly, it now feels that the game has separated from me as well.
I fear I’ve reached a point where my golf game has regressed enough to make it unenjoyable. Whether it’s the sheer amount of golf I’ve played during COVID (which is A LOT), the hours of instructional tips I’ve researched or something else entirely, the game has gotten away from me.
Of course, this is all relative. Formerly a 6-handicap, I’ve yet to wander back over the 100 barrier… but I’ve come dangerously close. Some reading this may brush off my lament as ramblings from a privileged middle-aged golfer who has seen the promised land, but as someone whose career-low round is 65 (par 69), times are tough, baby.
When you partake in any activity meant to be recreational and find more heartache than you would feel had you not started that activity, you’re in a bad way. It’s like picking up a guitar only to feel sharp pains in your fingertips after 5 minutes of playing. You know how to do this thing, and sometimes do it very well, but your body isn’t allowing you to enjoy it as much as your brain wants you to.
Some will say to '“just go out and have fun.” But it isn’t fun. It’s not any fun at all.
Golfers become pantomimes or award-winning actors who must hide their true selves when playing badly. Failure to do this labels someone as a “hot head” or otherwise undesirable as a golfing partner. So the next 4+ hours are spent feigning enjoyment, often for the benefit of those around us, when in reality we’d love to walk directly into the nearest lake and never come back.
Thoughts of what we’re losing instead of gaining flood our minds. We paid for this experience, often times more than we should have, and repeatedly lose pricey equipment (and our aforementioned minds) in the process. At some point we wonder if we’d be happier if we never stepped onto the first tee.
To play bad golf is to miss the point entirely. It’s impossible to play anything and be bad at that thing. Your performance is just that: a moment in time devoid of expectations, regardless of how much we’ve been conditioned to think otherwise. Hearing a golfer say “I played bad today” is a construct of comparing ourselves to something else while playing the most individual game possible.
Golf is the mirror that reflects our understanding of enjoyment. If we don’t like what we see, it has nothing to do with the game. Golf presents us with the opportunity to be entirely present with every element around us, and we somehow manage to screw it up every time.
3 Things Golf Learned from COVID | 256
Golf during COVID has been a learning experience, including these three lessons.
In today's episode, Adam shares three things he believes golf learned during COVID, and why the game cannot go back to the way it once was.
This Week in Golf Bullshit: The Status of Golf Writing
This Week in Golf Bullshit (TWIGB) is our weekly (or bi-weekly) commentary on a controversial topic in golf or golf media from the last seven days. If you have a topic you'd like me to cover on TWIGB, send me an email at adam@golfunfiltered.com.
What do you expect to read when you visit a golf website?
If it's anything other than videos of golf trick shots, semi-nude women who may or may not be holding a golf club, or fantasy golf picks from any number of daily fantasy sites, you're likely in the minority. What does that say about the current state of golf journalism?
By the way, why did you click on this article? Did the feature image have anything to do with it? Hold that thought.
Last night I interviewed long-time pro golf beat writer Steve Elling on the Golf Unfiltered Podcast. For over 50 minutes we discussed the ups and downs of golf writing in general, including trends we've seen emerge within the medium over the years. While I hope you listen (and subscribe!) to the podcast, our conversation can be summed up as two guys lamenting over what topics have been deemed "popular" in golf media.
As I mention during the episode, Golf Unfiltered is not immune to the temptation of posting articles that fit many of the themes discussed above. Here's a post where I discuss whether sex sells golf blogs more than good writing. Here's another where I detail a video that depicts one female golfer hitting a golf ball off a tee sticking out of her teammate's rear-end. You can find multiple fantasy golf posts by using this blog's search function on the home page.
With the exception of my golf equipment review pieces, those post topics are the most popular on my blog in terms of traffic.
This tells me two things:
- If my goal is to drive as much traffic to my site as possible, I need to post garbage articles in any of those three categories; and
- In doing the above, I'll be tapping into a younger demographic comprised of readers who probably don't give a damn about golf journalism in the first place.
Those are not the readers I want to visit this site... yet those articles still appear on this site. Such is the conundrum of the modern golf blogger.
In 2013 I published an article on this site that investigated whether the lines between traditional golf writing and golf blogging have become blurred. A number of well-known scribes in both categories contributed to the piece -- including Robert Lusetich of FoxSports.com, Kyle Porter of CBS Sports, Geoff Shackelford from Golf Digest, and Ryan Ballengee from Golf News Net -- by offering their takes on how we can all "get along."
Of all the quotes offered to me in that piece, this offering from Lusetich still rings in my head almost three years later:
“The bottom line is that Old Media is finished,” Lusetich states. “New Media – including bloggers – will find a way to survive, as journals and newsletters did after the printing press was invented. The key is discovering how to make money from the enterprise, as it needs to be a business.
“Now it’s up to bloggers to find the money to make it work. It’s still evolving, but I think it’ll happen.”
How have blogs become a business? What method have most sites relied on to generate revenue? Simple: post goofy videos, gambling odds, mean shit about Tiger Woods, and tits and ass.
Why? Because as long as sites continue to appeal to the lowest common denominator, that population will continue to click on headlines. And trust me: that is a huge fucking population. Traffic equals ad revenue, ad revenue leads to fat wallets, and suddenly you are the proud owner of a small business.
It's the American Dream, baby!
All is not lost, of course. There are still golf sites who offer fantastic, original content you can't find anywhere else. Elling's GolfBlot.com is an example. Ballengee's GolfNewsNet.com is another. Adam Sarson's self-titled adamsarson.com is a third. And, yes, even the guys at NoLayingUp.com deserve your attention.
But why does your golf readership preference have to be so goddamn "niche?" Because it's the only way to find content that doesn't try to gain your support by insulting your intelligence.
Golf Unfiltered isn't going to fall into that trap any longer. You deserve better. Hell, we deserve better.
Traffic loss or no, you will only find original content on this site moving forward. While we may aggregate some news story topics from our peers in the industry, commentary or reporting on those topics will be entirely our own.
All I can hope is that you keep coming to the site.
Gimmies: When Should You Hand Them Out?
For many weekend golf warriors, gimmies are as much a part of the game as golf balls and cart paths. Unless otherwise stated before the round, everyone in your foursome knows that gimmies will be handed out that day like presents on Christmas morning.
But is there a tried and true "method" or "rule of thumb" to follow when awarding your playing partner a gimmie? Should gimmies be granted at all?
Our friends over at YourGolfTravel.com wrote an interesting piece on this subject recently. As one would suspect, not all golfers understand -- let alone agree -- on what constitutes a gimmie and what does not. Is any putt inside three feet considered "gimmie-worthy"? Two feet? One foot, you stingy bastards?
In my foursome, the "inside the leather" rule applies more often than not; that is, a putt of any length that is no longer than the length of the grip on the player's putter (I've also seen a version of this rule that takes the entire length of the putter into account, which is overly generous in my opinion). This becomes more difficult when someone is using a long- or belly-putter, but for the most part we stay consistent with the enforcement of this rule. Most of the time.
I've also played in groups where no gimmies are given, especially when playing for money or drinks after the round. Not only are these rounds much more stressful, but I'd even say much less enjoyable. Nothing drives me more insane than missing a two-foot tap-in because of a sudden rush of nerves during a $5 Nassau.
I can hear some of you now. "That's the whole point of not granting gimmies! You might miss that two-footer! Nothing is a sure thing."
Whatever. Go play on Tour, hot shot.
Over the years I have come to the realization that I will never play competitive golf, at least to the degree or frequency that would make me care about holing out each putt. Sure, I might play in a club championship or local amateur event, but 98 percent of my golf rounds are going to include me, my friends, and a tanker full of booze. It will also include plenty of gimmies.
Call me crazy, but I prefer to have fun on the golf course.
Top Ten Golf Pet Peeves
We all experience them at one point or another: golf pet peeves. Those little annoyances on the golf course that bother us to no end, yet we choose to deal with because we love this game so damn much. And because we are all horribly addicted to golf.
Many of these irksome elements are uncontrollable by anyone. Most actually have a rational place on a golf course. Regardless, they still tick us off no matter how many times we encounter them.
Here is a list of the top ten golf pet peeves that you may run into during your next golf round. While this is by no means an exhaustive list, I'll bet you can relate to a few.
10) "Cartpath Only" Days -- Your hometown has just been through a week of rain storms prior to your golf round at a classy course. Fairways are more sponge than grass and bunkers have turned into mini-ponds. Prior to teeing off, the pro shop clerk tells you to "Keep your cart on the path, sir". Now you have to spend the rest of the day trudging through hundreds of yards of soaking wet grass to your golf ball (which always lands on the side of the hole opposite the cart path). If you wanted to walk this much in the first place you would have saved the $16 cart fee. Better yet, just let me dip my feet in the toilet and go on with my day.
9) The Golf Ball Retriever Guy -- Commonly found near most lakes at municipal courses, this is a golfer who spends upwards of 15 minutes fishing for golf balls. What makes this guy even worse is that he continues to search the lake long after finding his Dunlop Trusty Flight Two-Piece. Whenever he pulls his ball retriever out of his bag I feel like jamming a golf tee in my eye. Or his eye, for that matter.
8) Golf Holes Next to the Driving Range -- So you just hooked your drive into the left rough on a hole that runs parallel to driving range. You might as well kiss your Pro-V away, folks, because you will be spending the rest of the afternoon searching for it among a sea of scuffed Top-Flite range balls. You know that feeling you get when you think you finally found your golf ball? Get ready to feel it 100 times over the next five minutes.
7) Irons-Only Driving Ranges -- Speaking of driving ranges, did you folks know there are some courses who are prejudice against drivers? Irons-only driving ranges are the ultimate test in self-control and temptation. Here's an idea: instead of installing a 200-yard crappy range on the property, invest in a better course drainage system so I don't have to keep my cart on the path (see No. 10 above).
6) "Can You See the Hole?" -- I know this is a common golf etiquette question players should ask one another before pulling the flagstick, but it still bothers me to no end. Not only are you questioning your opponent's eyesight, but you are bringing attention to the fact that he is a looooonnnnggggg way from the hole. This is even worse when you are on the receiving end of the question.
5) Ball Markers on Golf Gloves -- Some players might not even know what I am referring to, but it's that little button-looking thing on your golf glove. Seriously, take a look for it the next time you play. That is a ball marker that you are guaranteed to lose seven seconds after placing it on the green. Have fun!
4) Fivesomes -- Holy lord. There are fewer things in life that drive me crazy more than seeing five golfers in the group in front of me. This is absolutely the fault of the pro shop or first tee starter, but some of the blame has to be placed on the five jerkholes playing Wolf in front of you. Keep groups to four players at most, or get some more friends.
3) PGA Tour Style, Hacker Game -- I'll admit; I am as guilty of this as the next guy. You get all dolled up in your best golf attire to play a round with your buds only to shoot 120. "Hey, at least you look the part" really means "Hey douchebag, I bet you wish your golf game was as classy as those pants." Try not to be that guy.
2) "What's the course record?" -- Have you ever heard a guy (usually the same dude from No. 3 above) ask this question in the pro shop before teeing off? I have, and let me tell you: there is an extremely small number of things that can come out of your mouth that make you look like more of a jerk. What's the course record, Shooter? Oh, it's sixty- PUNCH YOU IN THE FACE.
1) Practice Greens that are Slower than the Actual Greens -- This is actually something that happens and it isn't (always) an excuse poor putters use. It is also the number one pet peeve of mine because I see it far too often. I once spoke to the greens superintendent at my local course to confirm that, yes, the practice greens are often mowed hours later than the other greens on the course. No wonder my 10-footer just turned into a 25-footer in the blink of an eye.
What are some additional golf pet peeves that you experience on the golf course? Feel free to add them to the comments section below.
Cog Hill Golf and Country Club: Dubsdread Review
This Columbus Day marked a special time in the golf life of yours truly as I and Mrs. Chicago Duffer played Dubsdread at Cog Hill Golf and Country Club for the first time. While it was a humbling experience for the both of us, it was also my first chance to play a course I've idolized since childhood.
It's difficult to write anything that hasn't already been written about Dubsdread, considering the number of PGA Tour tournaments that have been held at the course. As you can tell by the photo gallery, we had picture-perfect weather the entire round. We all remember the numerous Western Opens and BMW Championships held at Cog Hill over the years, but to experience its difficulty firsthand proves why Dubsdread is ranked No. 1 in Illinois.
While the greens had just been aerated a week prior, they still rolled quicker than anything I usually play on the weekend. My golf game has struggled over the past month, which made many of the holes even more difficult than advertised. Just how difficult? Cog Hill's No. 4 course plays to a 75 rating and 144 slope from the second-to-last tees.
Shooting 93 on a "normal" course is definitely a big number for me, but not here. Cog Hill Golf and Country Club features four courses that will test your game, especially The Ravines and Dubsdread courses. The latter is without a doubt the most difficult course I've ever played in my life, and I enjoyed every second of it.
My favorite hole on the course had to be the par-3 No. 14 hole due to its visual appeal and difficulty. A huge amphitheater setting rests behind the green so I can only imagine what Tour players were faced with during tournament rounds. There isn't a single par-3 under 190 yards from the gold tees, and this monster came in over 200 yards. It did yield one of my few pars on the day, but that was only after one of my best tee shots of the round.
Many thanks to Joe Jemsek for inviting us out to experience a truly brilliant golf experience that both my wife and I will remember for years to come.
Steve Jobs and Golf: A Few Points
While the worlds of innovation and technology continue to mourn the passing of Apple Co-Founder Steve Jobs, one cannot overlook the reach that his products have spanned over the years, most notably the iPhone. Thanks to the incredibly sophisticated inner-workings of these helpful little devices, iPhone users across the globe have had their eyes opened to possibilities that would have never exisited had it not been for the minds at Apple and especially that of Steve Jobs.
Luckily for golfers, the technology within most iProducts translated rather seamlessly into the world of our sport, whether it be via an electronic scorecard application, a GPS rangefinder, or even a helpful training aid to help with your putting stroke. The impact that these products have had in golf is unmistakable, as the folks at WAM Golf detailed in a recent article.
As that article suggests, the iPhone has helped golfers in a variety of ways. For example, the iPhone's high-definition, high quality camera has allowed golfers and golf instructors a new way to capture swings, alignments, and other areas of the game like never before. Sure; there were phones available with cameras long before the iPhone. However, these devices lacked the clarity and customization features that Jobs incorporated into his devices. Along with the advent of social media sites like Twitter and Facebook, golfers were also able to share their photos and swing videos with other people around the world, including golf instructors and even touring golf professionals.
The iPhone's inner accelerometer also opened the doors to innovation in the area of golf training aids. For example,the PING iCradle is a product that attaches to your putter and cradles your iPhone in such a way that a specialized application can determine if your stroke is on-plane. There have also been applications created to assist with reading a putting green by laying your iPhone on the ground, thus allowing the accelerometer to "read" the contours on the putting surface. Other phones now feature this handy little phoen feature, including Android models, but it was Jobs who helped put the term "accelerometer" into the everyman's vocabulary.
The list goes on and on with the number of applications, features, and other areas that the iPhone can offer to assist golfers (just type the subject "golf" into iTunes, for example). Thanks to the insight and talents of a man like Steve Jobs, the game is now more personable, interactive, and technological than ever before. Rest in peace, Steve.
