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Say it Ain't So... Doug?

Well the proverbial cat is out of the bag, ladies and gentlemen, and now our beloved sport is no better than baseball, football, or even professional wrestling. Well... alright, maybe not quite.

So Doug Barron is the official answer to the trivia question "Who is dumb enough to take steroids for golf?", and the golfing world has just been thrown into the negative press spotlight that has plagued mainstream media for the past few years. Despite not knowing what Barron has taken or what he was caught with, rest assured that the likes of sports-giant ESPN will blow this puppy way out of proportion. And this is just the beginning:

The PGA Tour announced that it would be implementing full-scale anti-doping measures in December 2007, with the program commencing on July 1, 2008.

Since that time, random drug testing has occurred at PGA Tour events, including the major championships, with tests administered by the National Center for Drug Free Sport.

Barron's is the first suspension under the program, but the tour did not announce when the positive test occurred (Bob Harig, ESPN.com).

Bob. Don't do it Bob. Just stop it right there. Everything you just wrote in your "breaking news" article is perfectly fine... but leave it alone now. Yeah, I understand you are required to cover all of the facts and it is your duty to keep the golfing public informed... but for the love of everything holy do NOT turn this into another drug freakshow. We all saw what happened to baseball (in terms of popularity) after the stuff hit the fan, and golf is fragile.

Kind of like Dougie-Boy's fragile, flappy man boobs and lovehandles.

Tiger and Phil, China-style!

Note to Self: Don't Golf in Indonesia