Whether or not you believe the most recent economic recession is over and done with, nobody can deny that the great sport of golf has also been effected in one way or another. While PGA purses continue to rise thanks largely in part to the likes of Tiger and Phil, many experts suggest that these dollar amounts will be frozen for quite some time as the rest of the world catches up. Ticket prices are down for most tournaments in an attempt to boost attendance, and for the most part this has been successful. However, those of us who are able to attend numerous golf tournaments in one season now have to be a little more decisive when it comes to the money we spend.
One aspect of human nature remains, however, even in the midst of financial hardship: humor. Some people use humor as a means of coping with difficult situations while others resort to laughter in an attempt to point out the painfully obvious. No matter what the situation, the cleverness of some writers continues to amaze me. Take the following article by Evan Rothman, a writer for Golf.com (2009) as an example:
"It's true, the cable networks and newspapers are filled with scary headlines written in jargon that has come to symbolize the depressing reality of our economic state. But it doesn't have to be so. Take those same terms, process them through the SI Golf Plus Vocabulary Converter, and suddenly they're not so frightening anymore.
Bailout Putting a seven-wood in the bag
Boom-and-bust cycle Three-hundred-yard drives followed by bladed wedges
Credit crisis When your opponent forces you to hole out a 12-inch gimme. Also known as "credit crunch" or "credit squeeze"
Defaults All de things de matter with de swing
Derivative Adam Scott's swing compared with Tiger Woods's circa 2001
Discretionary income What you're no longer spending in the pro shop
Foreclosure The sense of completeness a player feels after pushing his drive onto the next fairway and screaming, "Fore!"
Liquidity trap Water hazard
Moral hazard Mulligan
Mortgage-backed security Betting the house that Tiger will win another major
Nationalization A private club adding National to the end of its name in hopes of attracting status-seeking new members
Negative equity Upon departing the golf shop, the $299 value of the driver you just bought for $399
Ponzi scheme "I'll buy the next round."
Repossession Trying to calm down after a four-putt double bogey
Short squeeze Gripping the putter too tightly while standing over a three-footer
Subprime crisis Heading into the club championship without your A game
Toxic assets Your old golf shoes
Zombie bank Five down with four to play and not enough cash to pay off the $2 Nassau"